Mind Over Mushroom Challenge, Day 2: Unmerciful Pain

If you ever get to thinking you got something, no problem, you can be sure whoever is pulling the puppet strings of the universe will cackle an evil laugh and send you running in the deep, dark night for the toilet.

In devising this challenge I knew the gag-reflex would be invoked. I knew there was a good chance for some up-chuck action. I knew I would feel ill.

I did not know it would happen on Day One.

In fact, I decidedly declared Day One to be a give-me day. A no-problem day. A day that I would, in fact, enjoy my mushroom meal. And I did. I enjoyed it so completely I never thought it would take me out like it did. My stomach started hurting in the middle of the night and by 6 am, I was laying on the couch with half glazed eyes and a puke bucket at the ready. My insides churning and burning and seeming to squeeze the ever-loving piss out of me, I heaved and gagged willing the pain to stop.

So, yes.Food Poisoning

I poisoned myself. I did it with mushrooms. And I did it on Day One of the challenge.

I knew morels were slightly toxic. But I also spent an entire summer eating them without any illness whatsoever. I knew how to cook them, I knew my body could handle them – and yet, somehow, none of that seemed to matter. I guess the universe is telling me that I shalt not receive reprieve at any point during this challenge. It’s gotta hurt to really mean something, right? Yeah, right.

I drug my butt to work all queasy and unhappy in my stomach area and by the time evening rolled around I was better, but not fine. That doesn’t mean anything though, because it’s Day Two of the challenge and I must forge ahead despite the worst start to any challenge ever. Yeah – that’s a grande statement, but that’s how I feel today.

Today is supposed to be another easier day on the mushroom foray, but I won’t actually say that it is because, well, once bit, twice shy: I learn my lessons incredibly fast. Today’s mushrooms came riding in on a cheesy, saucy, bacon and pepperoni covered slab of dough. That’s right. A Canadian pizza. I ate all the mushrooms on my slices, I just had to chew a little slower than usual and focus a little harder to get the job done. But there was no gag-reflex! I’m not arrogant enough to say that I’m making progress because I know all those other ingredients made all the difference and there aren’t that many mushrooms on a pizza, but I will say today wasn’t a failure… so far. We’ll see what the night brings.

Today’s Fungus Feast:
Canadian Pizza (Take-Out) – Cheese, bacon, pepperoni, mushrooms, sauce, dough

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