I ate it all. And I did it one bite at a time. One slow, thoughtful bite at a time. You know what? It wasn’t that bad. I mean, I’m not a lover of breakfast and today’s meal was a mushroom-infused omelet so I had some things to overcome. It’s not that I hate breakfast – I just like other meals better. Sometimes I fast-track lunch and put it bright and early in the morning… I can have a pizza pie for breakfast and be quite content with that.
So today’s meal was starting with lowered expectations on top of lowered expectations. Which maybe is a good thing. The odds that things are going to be better are usually higher when you’re already skulking around the bottom of the barrel. Although that’s not necessarily the best way to look at things…
So. Things weren’t that bad.
Whereas before I couldn’t even fathom the idea of a mushroom coming anywhere near my eating facilities, now I’m buckling down mentally and forcing myself to eat them. I still say force because it is not easy… yet.
I actually believe that statement. I believe that it will become easy. For those of you have an aversion to certain foods (the mushroom is a popular one) you know where I started at and you probably don’t have faith in the statement, just like I didn’t 9 days ago. I thought I would be putting myself through hell for nearly a month and when it was over I would perhaps be slightly better off in that I would be able to control my gag reflex. What is happening is that it’s no longer primarily about controlling that reflex. While I still have issues and for the most part the process is not enjoyable, I’ve crossed over and am working at the core of the problem: the psychological issue. Although I have so very far to go… I’m getting there. (This might end up being a case of me getting ahead of myself – which I do quite often – and because I’ve had some more successful days as of late, I might be getting a little cocky. Without fail, I usually get taken down a few pegs whenever I get too confident in where I’m going challenge-wise.)
As much as it is about the mushrooms, it’s also not. I have realized how close-minded towards mushrooms I have been in the past and how that has become an ingrained part of my life. The things that seemingly comprise who you are, are everything from your humour and personality to your fears and dislikes and your universal truths. The thing about your universal truths is that it’s hard to get out of the mentalities that created them. It’s hard to change who you are. But it can be done. We will see if I can pull this change off.
…Meanwhile, my Mom is probably across the country-side muttering to herself damn kids. Whine and squeal and pout and puke when you tell them a mushroom is a piece of ham then turn around 15 years later and eat them every damn day.
Today’s Fungus Feast:
Omelet: cremini mushrooms, eggs, spinach, flour, orange, red and yellow peppers, seasoning salt, garlic, cheddar, green onion.