I have spent a lifetime picking mushrooms out of meals. This is the first – and probably only – day that I did the reverse. THE REVERSE. I scraped away all of the other ingredients in today’s casserole and dumped them in the garbage bin until only the mushrooms remained.
How on earth can this possibly be my reality?
Well…. Because although I wouldn’t say that I am horrible in the kitchen, I also wouldn’t say that I am particularly gifted in there either.
Due to some life choices, I needed to have my mush meal during lunch rather than at supper and it was an unavoidable-needed-to-be-cooked-like-real-food-and-not-alphagettis-nuked-in-the-microwave type situation. But I don’t have enough time to whip up a family of four casserole over a short noon hour so I pulled out the old slow cooker.
That thing is the greatest of all inventions. It’s saved people time, heck, it’s probably even saved relationships. Lives! All of humanity! The crock pot is idiot-proof. Just slice, dice, toss, click and let it do its thing while you bugger off all day and then come back to a tender, perfect meal of awesome. That is how it’s supposed to work. That’s how it has always worked.
Until today. My first mistake was that I didn’t plug it in. So when I came home at lunch everything was exactly how I left it. No soft warmth to greet me at the door. No down-home smell wafting towards me. Just a cold pot of stuff probably gaining bacteria while sitting on the counter. With no options, I had to revamp my game plan. Wait until tomorrow or put that sucker on high and scarf it all down after work?
I’m not the patient type. So I plugged it in, slapped it over to high and went on my hungry way.
My second mistake was pouring 3 cups of rice into it and not nearly enough liquid. So this time, when I came home I was met with a warm fragrance laced with… burn. I think it takes real talent to be able to mess up a crock pot meal. It takes a special kind of intelligence to burn food in a crock pot, but I pulled out all the stops and managed to do it.
Now, because I didn’t have proper liquid proportions, those 3 cups of rice didn’t cook. So the entire thing was just a mishmash of mistakes and altogether quite unsuitable for the eating… and I’m not even talking about the mushrooms. Oh the horror!
So with hard, uncooked kernels of rice and the black, burnt charred remains of broccoli and cheese…. I basically tried to eat two-face for supper.
On top of all that, the only solution was to pick through the casserole in my old Mush-Detective ways, and (this is crazy) save the mushrooms.
Today was just not my day.
Today’s Fungus Feast:
Casserole: shiitake mushrooms, onions, garlic, cream, chicken stock, broccoli, cheddar, Monterey cheese, and rice