It takes me approximately an hour and a half to two hours to read 5 pages of the dictionary. Don’t scoff at me! If you remember the math from earlier – that’s just about 22 pages of whatever action-packed, love-infested, or other-worldly novel you’re reading. Just, you know, a little dryer.
Today, I thought I’d play a little game of Did You Know?
As in, did you know that beef has a plural form and that word is beeves?
Or that the first woman prime minister in the entire world took that title in Sri Lanka in 1960?
Or that a bargoon is a bargain? Or a bazoom is a woman’s breast? Or that when you text your friend that you’ll be bringing your sexy BF to the party, you’re actually telling them you’re bringing the butterfat. Oh so sexy.
I could go on, but I know you’re dying to see my top 5 picks. So here goes.
- Barf – an attack of vomiting
- Ball Lightning – a rare and little known kind of lightning having the form of a moving globe of light several centimeters across which persists for periods of up to a minute
- Beastie – a small, malevolent creature
- Bedazzle – confuse by excess of brilliance
- Bibber – a drinker, especially of alcohol
Notice that it’s an attack of vomiting. Not an ejection of vomit or anything more expulsion oriented. An attack. As in call in the forces and pull out those battle maps ‘cause when your barf wages a war, you know it’s going to be explosive. And I’m sorry, but it doesn’t matter how well guarded you are or what your defensive strategy is… you will lose that battle.
Just like how I lost the battle to find a photo of ball lightning. I punched those search terms into good, ol’ faithful google and an onslaught of lightning bolts and photoshopped images and ufo’s were all I could find. And a lot of cool, orb-like… stuff. I don’t even know what I was looking at. I’m not scientific. But I do have one heck of an imagination, so what I imagine it would look like is pretty freaky-cool, although a moving globe of lightning that lasts a minute sounds pretty incredible. Actually, now I’m doubting it’s very existence. If it lasts up to a minute, surely someone would have gotten a photo by now despite it’s rarity. Hmmm… things to ponder.
Another thing for you to ponder: how this guy looks so damn cute, but could kill you easier than you’d think. Because really, you know that when you hear the word beastie and even though you know it means a malevolent creature, you still picture a cute animal you just want to scoop up and cuddle despite what could be your imminent death. This fella is a Slow Loris and he kills you by secreting poison from his elbow and mixing it with saliva for one toxic spitball. Also… let me repeat that part. It has poison in it’s elbow. Mother nature is messed up.
Or… is she… bedazzling?
This word is a serious contender for top spot overall. It’s fun to say. It sounds all snappy and sassy. And there’s some sweet wickedness in confusing someone by excess of brilliance. As in, you are so incredibly awesome at whatever you’re doing/saying/wearing that commoners just can’t understand you. Like, I’d say Einstein was probably bedazzling. And Stephen Hawking…. And Michael Jackson.
But then again, you might think I’m a heavy bibber for those choices of bedazzling people. I included bibber because it’s such a flimsy little word, but it’s also a little unsettling in that, for me, it seems to be an awkward juxtaposition of word and meaning. It seems more like something you’d coo to a toddler or a baby. “oh you little bibber, you.” But don’t do it. People will wonder what kind of parent you are.
Week Six Stats
Starting word: Balanchine, George Ending word: bidirectional
Pages: 104-140 Total Pages: 140/1815
Ahead/Behind: -75 pages